Where are you?

Where are you baby Carlberg? Are you in Kazakhstan? Are you in Russia? Are you inside me somewhere, waiting to be born? Are you in the United States?

I wish I knew where to find you. I'm tired of this hide and seek game we are playing. You can come out now.

Am I a quitter?

Quitter. It's a terrible word in my family. You could be many things growing up, but a quitter, not possible. Well here I am, fighting for what is probably the most important thing I've ever done so far in my life, and I'm contemplating just that... quitting. Well at least, in a way.

My agency didn't get the info they needed for me to move forward with my dossier submission. Apparently the Joint Council has a meeting set up with the Kaz Embassy to discuss their lack of movement with the dossier processing and reluctance to set firm dossier requirements.

Honestly, I don't know how much more of this I can take. It seems like there is no end in sight except for folks saying that the timelines are getting longer and longer in Kaz. In addition, I don't know if I have the strength to go to another country at this point as it all seems so unpredictable right now. I'm considering perhaps switching altogether to a domestic adoption and eating the thousands we've already spent on Kaz. What a tough choice.

I know God must have a plan. We'll have a lot to think over these next few days.